From the Wedding by Joseph Levine Chapter 9

From the Wedding by Joseph Levine
Chapter 9
My First Love.

I travel through the forest to become a teacher and I fall in love with a girl. My father comes to see me just to see how I am faring.

I could actually omit this chapter if I chose to, but what kind of book would this be if I did not have a chapter on romance. Therefore I will forego my embarrassment and will write about my romance and its disappointment.

While I sat in school learning Torah, a man entered and asked me if I would be willing to go to the forest to study with two boys. I told him that I would have to go ask my father. He told me to take my father with me. Take him to Reb Nasson and talk to him.

The man explained that the place where Reb Nasson worked, the water mill, had closed down. The previous owner of the water mill now owned a parcel of land in the forest that he wanted to clear. He had offered Reb Nasson a place to live at the new site. Therefore they need a tutor for both the owner's and Reb Nasson's sons.

We went to Reb Nasson's house. After discussing everything with my father, I was offered 15 rubles until Passover to teach both boys Chumash (Bible) with Rashi's commentary. Reb Nasson would teach me Mishna daily at dawn.

Reb Nasson was a thin, short man with a small goatee. He wore a long jacket. The shirt he wore had such wide sleeves that he used to filter the water he drank through the sleeve. He would cover the glass with his sleeve and drink the filtered water through the shirt sleeve.

Reb Nasson's wife was a thin, weak old woman who had once been a very pretty woman. They had three children, two very handsome boys aged nine and eleven, and one daughter who was 16. She was beautiful, with red rosy cheeks, blond hair and beautiful eyes. When she looked at me with those eyes it was like magic.

After the meeting we went home. That night I couldn't sleep anymore. I wanted it to be the next day so I could be in Reb Nasson's house once again.

My mother packed all my belongings, my clothes, my shirts, my Shabbos suit and several other miscellaneous items. I bade my family farewell. With my suitcase in hand, I trotted off to Reb Nasson's house.

When I arrived, their wagon was filled with packages, flax, pillows, other things. We all climbed into the wagon.
Their daughter and the older son were in the back of the wagon. The younger son and I were facing them. We covered ourselves with blankets and traveled for several hours. Never once did we take our eyes off one another.

When we arrived at the forest, the parents, Reb Nasson and his wife, were already there. The owner of the forest had taken them in his cart.

The house was about as large as the house that my previous teacher had. There was a big oven, a bed, a table and two long benches. In the evening we prayed the evening service, we then ate and went to sleep. Reb Nasson slept on the couch, his daughter by the oven and his wife in the bed. I slept with the sons. We spread out a blanket of straw and that is how we slept.

This is how we slept every night. Every morning Reb Nasson would wake me at dawn and study Mishna with me. During the day I would teach the children Chumash and Rashi. Reb Nasson recited the morning prayers beautifully, as a true chassid. Afterwards, he would eat breakfast and go into the forest to supervise the clearing of the forest. They were careful to separate the heavy wood from the thin wood. The heavy wood would be used for building homes.

I would teach Chumash to the boys. When the daughter felt like listening in, she would sit with us and learn. She sat with us when I taught the boys. This is how we became familiar with one another and thus became much friendlier.

I can tell you that this was no simple flirtation or silly romance or love story. How could I be talking like this? How could I even be thinking of such things? I can only tell you that this was the purest, holiest of situations that is possible between people of the opposite sex. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I told you that the behavior between the two of us was completely angelic and completely innocent.

We often took long walks in the forest. We took the boys with us, but they tended to run around leaving the two of us the opportunity to have long discussions. We talked about anything and everything in the world. She actually lost all interest in housework. She didn't want to help her mother in the kitchen. She only desired to sit at the table with us and listen while I taught the boys their studies. She literally ate up every word I uttered.

Several weeks after we arrived, my father came for a visit. He said that my mother was concerned and that she missed me very much, so he came see how I was faring. He wouldn't dare admit that he missed me just as much. He told me that if I was homesick that I could go home with him. I assured him that I was very happy, not at all homesick and that I did not want to return home. My father stayed the night, visited and returned home the next day.

I was very careful with my work. I taught the boys by day and went for walks in the forest. I was very careful that Reb Nasson should not see that I was out with his daughter. Time passed. I kept wondering where this was taking us. If Reb nasson found out, my life would be in danger. I once tested her and told her,
"Libba, your father is coming."

She said,
"So, I'm not afraid of my father. Do I need better than this?"

Exactly what she meant by that, who knows?

Who knows where this could have taken us? One day our relationship suddenly was severed. On a very nice day, right after Purim, the landowner arrived with another gentleman. The next thing you know, the new gentleman bought the property. Reb nasson was let go. He was told that his services were no longer needed and that he could leave immediately. They packed their bags, loaded the wagon, and emptied the house. Once again the wagon was loaded with packages, the same pillows and blankets. We all got on the wagon. Again we sat facing one another. But this time, although we knew each other, we wouldn't dare talk to one another, so instead we conversed with our feet under the blanket.

You don't believe me? You don't think that people can converse with their feet? Believe me, when people are in love, they can talk with their eyes and they can talk with their feet.

We arrived back in town, with Reb Nasson unemployed and I no longer a teacher. I was heartbroken, with a deep yearning in my heart. And to top it all off, I didn't even get paid. How could I possibly ask Reb Nasson for the money? He was now a poor man. And he had gotten such a jolt being fired the way he was. It was a blow and a terrible disappointment. He was actually fooled.

One could recover somewhat, but the disappointment remains.... Until new troubles come along.